Funny Weight-Loss LIES We Tell Ourselves

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A glass of juice or lemonade is way better than a can of soda.

A "bite" isn't big enough to have any caloric value.

Dark chocolate is a health food.

If no one SEES you eat it, then it never happened.

Most of the calories in bread are in the crust which I feed to my dog.

The sauce leftover on the plate has at least 20% of the total calories of the dish in it.

If you store your chocolate on a high shelf you’ll burn all the calories you’re going to eat jumping up to reach it.

The peanut butter left on the spoon after I measure it is at least an amount equal to 1/4 of the size of the spoon (doesn’t coun

If you eat it with your fingers, it doesn't count.

Things the same color have the same caloric value; therefore Vanilla ice cream has the caloric value of Cauliflower.

If you're just eating the chips at the bottom of the bag that are all broken, 100 of them = 1 unbroken chip.

Any calories in a margarita are killed by the alcohol.

If you buy food on sale, it has less calories and free food is free of calories.

The crumbs from the cookies that fall to the floor contain at least 20% of the total calories of the cookie.

There are no calories in Christmas cookies!!! (It's part of the magic of Christmas, you know.)

Vegetables are good for you. Chocolate is a vegetable.

When I do some little exercise (like while waiting for something to cook in the microwave) I burn 1 calorie per second.

Vacation food doesn't count.

The bathroom mirror adds ten pounds, and the bathroom scale is in on the conspiracy.